Pssst…Can you hear me?…Are you listening?
Over the last couple of days, I went back and read my blog. My “About” and the four articles I’ve posted to date. I did it to reacquaint myself with it, and the person who shared their thoughts here.
It’s hard to believe that more than a year has passed since that last post – which ironically was about New Year’s Resolutions and self-compassion. At that time, I was excited about blogging, and the response that I’d had from my readers. I felt like I was actually sharing thoughts that may help others along their journey. So, what happened? …I’ll get to that in a moment…
The old me (who still lurks somewhere in my mind, waiting for opportunities) might fill this post with all sorts of self-hatred, guilt and apologies. The old me might simply quit writing forever because after all, if I can’t publish regularly, I’m obviously not “meant” to do it. But, I’m publicly telling you that I won’t let the old me keep sabotaging my life. Even if I only write occasionally. Even if no one ever reads this but me looking back on my life at some later date, I’m carrying on. In the infamous words of Yoda, “There is no try, there is only do.” So, I’m not going to say “I’ll try” to write. I will write. But I won’t be setting up some unrealistic expectation for myself that opens up all kinds of ways for me to fail…which brings me to the question that got me writing today.
What’s stopping you?
I’ll start by sharing some of the things that have been stopping me.
Over the last year, I’ve had lots of different thoughts and ideas for writing. My journal is full of them. Facebook is full of memes that I share because they mean something to me – if only I had “time” to write. (there’s stopper #1)
This is a funny one for me…I could go on about how elusive time is – and I did, but deleted it because it isn’t really getting to the point. I know many of us work, have family obligations, health concerns and a raft of “things” we have to do in our daily lives. But the thing is, if something is really, really important, don’t you make time for it? Take time for it? Or, as Nike would say, “Just do it”? Well, I’m not so sure…
If I were to be completely honest with myself (and with you), I know that throughout the past year, I’ve had “time” to write. Gosh, I could’ve simply shared some of my morning journal entries…but I didn’t. Why not? Now it gets juicy…
Stopper #2 – Every good blog has an image for every post in order to catch the eye of the reader. Ok, this is only what I’ve heard, but it stopped me. Sure, maybe I could write something, but then I’d have to find or create the perfect eye-catching image – and that’s hard to do! So, I stopped myself by creating some random obstacle in the future. I told myself it would be too hard, too time consuming, to have an image, so why bother writing? And that, my friends, is the truth about why I gave up last year.
I know it may seem trite, but how many of us have dreams of things we want to do but give up on them? We tell ourselves we don’t have the time to do what it takes to achieve them. Then, before you know it, a year (or a lifetime) has passed and you never tried that one thing that you really wanted to do. And your life story becomes one that is filled with forgotten dreams and regret…
This year started like that for me – I felt like giving up on this dream of writing about my thoughts and life experiences in the hopes of helping others. But this morning I made up my mind to try again. I made up my mind that it was ok to get back to this more than a year after the last entry (practicing the self-compassion I’ve written about). I decided that the obstacle in my path was imagined. Created by some version of me that was afraid of being seen or noticed. Afraid of being imperfect. Afraid of being laughed at. Afraid of feeling unsafe… And maybe this is one of the reasons why we can’t seem to “find time” or “make time” to do these things that are big and scary and stretch us to be better versions of ourselves. To step into the person our soul knows us to be.
I’m at an age now where I know there are things I dreamed of being or doing that I will not be able to be or do. But that doesn’t mean I have to curl up and die filled with regret. I still have dreams. Goals. Hopes. Aspirations. …and I’m sure you do too! As long as we have breath, we have life and a chance to achieve our own version of greatness.
My challenge to myself, and to you, is to pay attention to the noise in your head that is drowning out your soul’s message. For me, it usually boils down to fear in some way. An obstacle (real or imagined) that plays over and over in my head and stops me from being who I really want to be. From doing what I really want to. From acheiving my life goals. That’s what stops me.
What’s stopping you? I’d love for you to share your thoughts in the comments below!
