What’s Your Superpower?

“Pssst…Can you hear me? … Are you listening?”  

Are there things you do that you just can’t seem to help doing?  One thing for me is that I agonize over every decision… From choosing which movie to watch, which book to pick up and read, which shirt to put on, what’s the right thing to do in any particular instance – even the right words to put into these opening sentences!  That’s the inward-facing part of “what I can’t help but do.”  But that inward-facing practice has helped me notice things in the world around me…

By weighing every decision, small or big, I look at a problem from every angle that I can dream up. Nothing is unimportant. Every possibility is considered as a real possibility.  Every possibility is given its due consideration.  I “hear it out”.  As a consequence, I feel like I can understand the world around me as being in various shades of grey – though I don’t really like the shadowy feeling that invokes – so maybe it’s more of a technicolour world.

I used to “blame” this character flaw (yes, I saw it as a character flaw) on the fact that I’m a Libra, and Libras are notoriously indecisive…so obviously, I just couldn’t help myself!  But lately, I’m seeing it as a superpower, and a way that my soul has been speaking to and teaching me throughout my life. Yes, it’s been painful to be kept awake at night wondering what my next step is: do I buy this or that, do I do or say this or that tomorrow…but not all learning is fun, easy or sleep-inducing!

I’ve started to notice that the questions and decisions that keep me awake at night are usually “this or that-type” questions with an expectation that there would be this-or-that-type answers.  Black and white.  And that’s a problem! There is no “this-or-that” question or answer!  I’ve been paralyzed by the diversity of options that I could imagine between “this-or-that” and needing to find certainty in the resolution of any and every question that pops into my head! And, by trying to make sense of the world, I somehow learned and have been reinforcing that life is a this-or-that proposition.  But it’s not! Every day we are faced with countless choices and countless answers and responses.  None of them perfectly asked or answered. 

When my world was smaller – before the information age and the preponderance of media/social media influences – I wasn’t maybe completely aware of or face to face with all of this diversity of people, thoughts, ideas, beliefs and values.  I suppose I knew on some intellectual level that it was there, but it wasn’t in my face 24/7.  And, as a consequence, it was so far removed from me that I didn’t really need to, want to, or have an opportunity to engage with it much beyond my family and community. Today, it’s a much different situation – and I believe that this diversity, while providing our world with incredible strength, resilience and hope, also has the potential to be our undoing unless we are able to start to think of it and value it in terms of it being in technicolour.

As I write this, my heart and soul are in pain hearing so much this-or-that rhetoric around me, and watching how, at a time when so many are feeling frightened, vulnerable and alone,  others are taking polarized sides on issues without seeming to think about or consider that there may be different questions to ask. Different thoughts to think. Different responses available. A technicolour world of possibilities that, should we choose to consider them them and hear them out, as I have spent a lifetime doing with nearly every thought that passes through my mind, could open us up to the humanity and soul of each other.  It could bring us together rather than divide us. And, we might learn to love ourselves and each other, making the world a kinder, gentler place to live for every being that we share this beautiful planet with.

I’ve only recently realized that I have spent my life so far developing this superpower and that it’s served me all along by giving me the grace to accept others for who they are and to accept and try to understand without judgement.  I’ve also begun to realize that I get into trouble when I shut it down, ignore it or don’t trust it. I start to feel increasingly anxious, resentful, depressed or angry.  A host of other unhelpful and unhealthy thoughts and feelings can start to take over my heart and mind.  I recognize now that those negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours are moments when my soul is in pain and speaking up to remind me that I do have this superpower and it’s time to pay attention and use it…To look for and embrace the diversity of good thoughts, feelings and options available!  I need it and the world needs it too.

By thinking and having these conversations with my soul, I’ve realized that something I can’t help but do (and something I used to consider to be a character flaw) has in fact served me by providing the training ground to help me develop my superpower of thinking in technicolour…

What can’t you help but do? Is this the training ground of a superpower within you that your soul is helping to develop and illuminate within you?  You know, the world needs your superpowers too!

I’d love for you to share your thoughts below!