Announcing my “Run-up to 60”

Earlier this month, I celebrated my 59th birthday. As I approached this penultimate year to my next big milestone, I was thinking about a couple of previous ones…49, 54…and how I had thought each of those would be the motivation I needed to get myself back on track. I promised myself I’d be better/healthier at 50 than I was at 40 or 45.  At 54, I was sure I’d be better at 55 than I had been at 45 or 50…and so it goes. You get the picture. But this year, I am not promising anything…

I am, however, setting an intention.

My intention is to be mentally, physically and spiritually healthier when I turn 60 than I have been for most of my adult life.

You may be asking, “Why now?” “What took you so long?”

Well, the answers to those questions may simply be “I wasn’t ready.” On so many levels, a lot had to shift in me in order to set this intention. I had a lot of learning and growing to do, but mainly, I just had to make up my mind to do it. And no, that’s not as easy as it sounds, as anyone who has experienced trauma, or struggles with depression, anxiety, poor self-esteem/self-confidence, or any mental health issue will tell you. And those are some of the reasons it’s taken me so long… I had deep work to do in those areas (and still do).

You may also be asking, “Why an ‘intention’ and not a promise?”

If you’ve read my Resolutions post, you’ll know I have struggled with resolutions/promises to myself, and these milestones are no different. However, as I am increasingly conscious of the fact that I have fewer years ahead of me than I do behind, I knew I HAD to do something to “right my ship”. I recall watching my mother’s health fail, mainly because she believed that aging meant certain things, and those things didn’t include excellent health, broad social connections and activities or a willingness to do pretty much anything to be physically well. I had made up my mind years ago that I wouldn’t let that happen to me, but that’s exactly what was happening! (I mentioned, I’m not so good with promises to myself?!) So, my intention over the next year is to try anything and everything I can to make my (mind, body, spirit) wellness priority #1. 

So, what is my Run-up to 60?

I’ve had a fear of aging, and what it would mean. I have already mentioned my mom’s version…and my dad didn’t have a chance to age (he passed away with cancer at 56). I grew up in a culture that reveres youth (and still does),and I’ve already started to feel irrelevant and uncertain. So I wonder, how do I, as a grey-haired woman, who at 59 is “younger” than my mom was at 59, fit in? Maybe I don’t. Maybe fitting in isn’t the point. Maybe I can use this time in my life to do something more different than I had ever imagined… Instead of trying to run from or hide from this whole aging process, I can embrace it. Maybe I can share my struggles and successes, my hopes and my fears and my process. Maybe I can help others who are feeling as I am – uncertain of what “old age” will look like, but still running up to it and embracing it like an old friend!

And for anyone struggling with or fearing aging, I encourage you to consider your own ‘run-up to ____’ (you fill in the number). Isn’t that a more positive thought than dreading that next birthday? Doesn’t life sound so much more exciting and fulfilling if you can look at each new day, each new hour, each new minute as an adventure? Even if the adventure is just getting up and enjoying a hot coffee and looking out at the sunshine. Even if the adventure is just getting out of bed!

I don’t know where you are at, what health or other issues you may have…and to be honest, even as I write this I’m afraid I’m sounding too optimistic and someone out there is thinking “Sure, Charlene.  That’s easy for you to say! You’re not in my shoes!!” 

No, I’m not in your shoes. But I’ve walked in mine, and they haven’t always been easy. I’ve had days where I could care less if I stepped out in front of a bus. I spent years not being able to lift my leg high enough to put my pants on because the pain in my back was so bad. Today is a good day. I’m optimistic. At 59, I can run up and down stairs – something I NEVER saw my mother or father do. I have a great deal of gratitude every day for the opportunities I have to have new experiences, to try to make a difference in the world. So, while I can’t know where you’re at, I can empathize. And, I can encourage you to challenge your beliefs, just like I have challenged, and continue to challenge, mine. I can encourage you to conquer your fears, just as I have conquered, and continue to conquer, mine.

My run-up to 60 is my soul’s greatest calling and my soul’s greatest adventure. A number of years ago I had a dream of a bus that would stop, but I could never quite get to it before it moved on. The stopping, me running to catch it, and it moving on happened a bunch of times before I woke up. As I reflected on it, I was certain that the bus was my life, and I was missing it. Since that time, I’ve been trying to find a way to reclaim my life, to see the potential, the joys, the adventure of it all…Where in my past, I saw aging as something to fear – a time of life that was full of grief, regrets and disappointments, I am now looking at it as an opportunity to be, do and have more than I could have ever imagined before. I can now see this time of life as one big adventure!!  And, I hope you’ll be inspired from wherever you are, whatever age you’re at, to join me on this adventure!

At 59, I am a lot healthier – mentally, physically and spiritually than I was at 54. To be honest, I’m a lot healthier than I was at 58 (or even 49)! And I am so grateful for these years of second chances, and opportunities for growth and learning. I don’t know what 60 will look like – I don’t have a crystal ball.  But I do believe that with all the little steps I intend to take along the way, it will be amazing!

I’d love to hear your thoughts on aging and how you’re embracing it (or not!)